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Those words I knew you said

By chloerose08 | Posted: 01 March 2009

Views: 611
Competition winner
Winner: March 2009
Through the veil of spring I spied,
Inside its dainty dash I cried,
Waiting for the dragging tide,
To wash away these sins I hide. 

Cherry blossoms frame my door, 
The summertime is so obscure, 
For aching misery is my lure, 
Its gentle humming is the cure. 

The dying flowers make a stain, 
Upon my ever dying brain, 
He tells me the ground will gain,
But I refuse to hide my pain.

And with a floating grace I led, 
To the graves where he was dead,
I am so careful not to tread,
On those words I knew you said.
All articles on this website by chloerose08 are copyright ©chloerose08 and should not be reproduced without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.
Comments 
Carl
02 April 2009
Well done, this won the March 2009 Writers Circle competition!
Gary Jarvis
02 April 2009
Hi chloerose08,

This has a lovely flowing  speed to it and each line seems to make sense although the poem itself does not paint a vivid story/picture in my mind and for me wasn't punchy enough.

This is purely personal opinion and there is nothing wrong with it but for me it did not conjure any images.

But please keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more.

Regards
Gary

PS: Well done for winning the contest.

Writer
chloerose08

Total posts:
25
Roles: Writer
Cambridge, UNITED KINGDOM
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