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second snippet from Raddle

By mature gent | Posted: 24 March 2009

Views: 213
Alcohol
Alcohol
Bad language
Bad language
Monday morning I decided that I would go into Cheadle to place an advert in the local paper; Food was our priority we both felt that this would bring customers from further afield and that was important to increasing our weekly turnover.
My poem on the opening night, had caused some interest and so again I felt that instead of an advert I would put pen to paper and write a verse,
To Visit the Raddle
To visit The Raddle is quite a treat it's a Pub full of character and charm,
With log fires burning to keep you warm, and views that are simply divine
 Meals are specially home cooked, and ales that is kept in its prime,
 by a Landlord that talks with a twang, 
So get yourself down to the Raddle tonight; and have thy self a dammed fine treat.

Not realizing that to get to Cheadle I required Transport as Buses only came in the village twice a week on Wednesday to Cheadle, and on the Friday to Utoxeeter that's just how remote the village was, with no car we were stranded, our nearest neighbour was a pensioner Claude, who lived on his own just across from the pub, he was a regular customer of the pub and before we had moved in he had introduced himself, he was a very quite man and a little shy, but he said that if ever he could help us we only needed to ask, Claude was to become a very good friend and customer, Marjorie was a little special to him, as she took across a dinner every Friday for him and would  sit and have a little chat with him, he was very fond of her. Well I went over to Claude to see if he knew were I could get a cheap van, even though cash was not really available, as I explained to him we realized it was impossible to not have a vehicle in a place that didn't have a regular bus service, Claude had a rye smile on his face said  "I nu  I'll tek  yu  down to ma  mates", bloody hell I had to listen to him real careful for he had a real Staffordshire slang and if they thought mine was broad, Claude was twice as bad, he got out his car from his garage, it was over ten years old, but on the clock was only 2000 miles, (yes 10 yrs and only 2000 on the clock ) it was in pristine condition, and to top it all he had won it in a raffle. Well I was about to get my first lesson on the country life, for being a Town person everything was at top speed, Claude got behind the wheel and off we set, never going over 20 miles per hour, he sat back contentedly puffing away at his none lit pipe, as we came to the top of the bank there was nothing coming, and we could have gone straight out, as us towns folk would, but Claude put car out of gear, hand brake on, look left then right, slipped into first and very slowly pulled away along the road, Claude was taking me into Tean to see his mate who sold the vans, mainly to the farmers, as Claude put it they are all bangers, Farmers don't want fancy new ones for there work, but he does have some decent ones and he would see if he could get me one of these for the £200 I had to spend,
We came down into Tean onto the main A522 road, at the time this was a very busy road as the Utoxeeter by pass A50 wasn't open yet, so all the big wagons and all traffic used this road to cut across country instead of going into Birmingham, we came up to the cross roads to get onto the A522, Claude pulled up, knocked car out of gear hand brake on leaned back in his seat, and took out his lighter from his little pocket in his waist coat to light his pipe, filling the car with blue pipe smoke, I on the other hand was looking for an opening, darting my head first left then right so that we could get out onto the A522, Claude could see I was getting a little tight as the wagons seemed to be endless flowing past he just sucked on his pipe and droll'ed out donna thee worry lad we've got all day and times on our side, thar 'll be an opening soon,  no wonder us Town folks  are prone to heart attacks we haven't a minute to spare our lives seem to be one big rush  on the other hand Claude's laid back attitude was not only relaxing and calming but we probably got on to the A522 just as quick, because even though traffic appeared to be still flowing after what seemed a lifetime to me, with no break, Claude suddenly put the car into gear and  low and behold on our side the traffic cleared we got into the centre of the road and a wagon flashed Claude to come out,  we were on the A522, "Gosh Claude" I said "were did that gap come from?" "ah well" he said "tha's lights up near Draykcott and you have to know tha timing, we must a just missed them so I was lukin well up tha road for 't gap to appear like I say tha gets no were in a rush", Claude pulled into the garage forecourt and low and behold there were the vans he had about eight on the site some looked well past there best ,but when you've only got £200 beggars can't be choosers, Claude told me to take a look at the vans whilst he went to chat to his mate, I was only  looking at what I felt he would sell around my price, when this voice said they are rubbish, I've  a couple of tidy ones here, these haven't been hammered like those, I walked over and sure enough they were much cleaner and the body work seemed quite tidy, I was hanging to one in particular, a white one it looked very decent , here he said throwing the keys start it up. "You do know how much I have to spend don't you" I said, "donna worry tha self I'll come for a few pints tha can make it up that way duck" he chortled, there goes that word duck again, "are you sure" I said, "course" he replied "if that's tha one tha wants, tha can take it now, its also got a couple a months tax, came in last week an its a tidy motor". All done and dusted I was now the owner of a little Vauxhall van, Claude seemed to be well chuffed and said you've got a little peach tha'r me lad, I thanked him for his help, "donna worry tha self" he said (Hello I thought is this another drinks in kind I'll finish up giving all my beer away if I'm not careful) he continued "you'll soon get used to people helping round here, were all one big family and we look after each other", I felt terrible that the thought had even crossed my mind another typical townie  attitude to think that everybody wants repayment for there help, and to make me feel even worse he told me the van was on at £500 a saving of three hundred, and all the guy wanted was a few of pints, we set off to get back home I said I would follow Claude as I knew if I was to go in front, I would be tearing away before Claude even got started, and I really did want to try and lose all that aggression all those years of driving like a  townie maniac. 
Marjorie was well chuffed with the van and thanked Claude for all his help, I immediately went to ring up for insurance cover, all sorted we set off to go into Cheadle to put in our little intro advert.
All articles on this website by mature gent are copyright ©mature gent and should not be reproduced without the author's prior written consent. All opinions are the opinions of their respective authors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Writers' Circle.
Comments 
totalwitch
29 March 2009
This has a very good sound to it very compling and can't wait to read more. I'm not real good with punctuation it looks like you might need some help there. I noticed several times the charter was talking but you didn't have it as dialouge. Like when he told her to get in the car. I did stagger at the point of Tean and it took me a few minutes to realize you were talking about a city or small village. Sometimes you have their accents so deep I'm not real sure what they are saying and have to read it several times to figure it out. Sometimes you can write the dialouge not so deep but show that the other person is having trouble understanding because it is so deep. But great storyline keep going.

Writer
mature gent

Total posts:
108
Roles: Writer
Blackpool, UNITED KINGDOM
Hi I am a retired publican who is enjoying life to the full. Joined Blackpool Writers circle we meet once a fornight to share and enjoy our writing. I have started to write a book on our three pubs, three ... (Read more)
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