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If you write it so that it is obvious that the mentors' pasts and personalities have an direct effect on their teachings - and therefore also on the way that the heroes view the world - then learning about the mentors I believe would be more meaningful to the overall plot and therefore make your original idea a good one.
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Have a close friend or someone of your choice to read what you have written and see what they have to say about the idea behind the story. Sometimes their answers will make more sense in an odd way. From what I read above, your story sounds like a good read.
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Hi ruminate81,
I think it depends on the story but if you want it to finish with the two young chaps then they need to have a strong enough personallity already shown and grown with the reader for the reader not to go "well my fave characters have gone so what is the point of carrying on".
Also is it going to be one book or more than that because if it is one book you may want to make sure the young characters are established by the time they take over but if it is more than that and clear during the book that there will be more you could probably focus on the older before handing the mantle over.
Hope this helps.
Gary
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Good food for thought everyone. I reviewed my story and I decided to add a little more flavor the to two younger heros, but leave everything else I already have planned. I'm going to give them some more character development so everyone is about equal.
I'm going to construct a little fling and emotional bonding between them. That should make sure that they are characters with interest in each other and not just the mentors. This should give enough relationship between them to keep reader interested in their story, I hope at least.
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Sounds like a good plan. Maybe you could have one pair with a really strong bond and good relationship whilst the other are broken and animosity runs a muck then if they cross over perhaps you could have conflicts there as well.
Just some more suggestions in case they are any good.
G
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You know I was thinking about something very close to that.
I was going to make the couple secretly fall for each other. Even after they realize they have feelings they are not open about them (Shy at first). Later it will become a very fast pace adventure with time sensitive action that prevents them from ever acknowledging their love because it is never a good time. Then near the end when one of them is in a duel to the death the other will break down because she thinks that he is going to die and she never told him how she felt.
I like happy endings with couples, so no surprise he lives. ^_^
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I do like that idea although for me I would like to see a second book so that the first can end with the one who breaks down literally saves the one she loves but cannot except what their mind thought was going to happen and is completely broken even though the other survives and then their quest during the second book is to repair themselves whilst the other leaves them knowing that their love was what caused the destruction inside.
Something like that lol. Really look forward to reading it though.
G
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I'll make a deal with you because I like your idea. This will be my first book I actually complete. I'm barely started with the writing, so there is plenty of time to change things around. Even make this story into two books.
I have a pretty dynamic story that really could be split into two stories, but I'm just not sure I can make the second one as good. Okay here is the deal now.
If I have over 65000 words by the time the two mentors die, I'll make the first book end on a cliff hanger with despire in the younger hero's minds. A feeling of hopelessness. This part of the story is actually a descent place to end also because it is also the time that the younger heros make their first major victory alone without mentors there to back them up.
SO..... If I have over 65000 words by this point. I will make that the end of book one. If not then I'll go with a single book with three acts.
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My only caution for you is that you must be careful to really make sure the mentors don't have too much of the readers attention and focus otherwise they could be left feeling cheated when they both die. Are the mentors going to go in quick succession or are you going to spread the deaths out.
What I would do would be to have the character that is going to break to have had their mentor for a while right at the start and for that mentor to die early on then you can show his or her turmoil and struggles in dealing with that and continuing on the journey and then it will be a more realistic break down at the end.
Only ideas but I really like your story concept so keep us posted or even just let me get a sneak peek as you go lol. I love adventure stories.
G
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I use the word mentor lightly. They are really just elders and most of their adventure is happening because of negative direction caused by the mentors, one in particular. It is their own negative direction that ends up killing one and the other sacrifices herself to seek revenge upon the one who killed the other. There death is something that is a lesson to the younger heros in the way not to handle themself. They see how revenge can tear even the greatest warrior into something far less than great making them do things that are based on emotion rather than logic.
They mentors are great heros that are falling, so their deaths are something that will happen and by their death teach an important lesson to the younger heros. The mentors deaths and the younger heros victories happen simultaneously. It is quite crucial this scene plays out like exactly this way. The mentors are tied together in a way that the story would desolve if only one died. It is very complicated to explain why it would desolve without giving a 20 page summary leading to this point.
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Now that does sound interesting. I greatly look forward to seeing how it all plays out.
G
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